killing this heart

kadang2, teringin saja aku nemumbuk hati ini, yang kadang-kadang terlalu degil. betah dan berani lagi merindu...yang nanti dia sendiri akan melukai dan terluka. sejujurnya aku tewas, tewas dalam rasa rindu dan tewas dalam memadamkan rasa itu. masih ada yang tertinggal dan berbaki. ingin saja aku text atau mendail namun aku sedar, perbuatan itu nanti akan melukakan dan terluka. aku pendam saja rasa tapi hanya Dia mengetahui betapa aku merindu.

aku haus

Aku haus, dahaga sebetulnya…namun ‘perempuan nan bercinta’ tidak mampu mengilangkan kering di tekak ini, tidak seperti ‘bedar sukma bisu’ dahulu yang membuatkan aku lemas dalam lautan cinta. Perempuan ini padat dengan mazhab ahlul bait kata penulisya. Namun telah hilang seri dan jati diri dia yang dahulu. Falsafah tiang seri tidak lagi tersisi. Perempuan terlalu sarat dengan falsafah syiah. Tentang cubaan untuk bertoleransi  dengah sunni seperti umno ingin berbaik dengan pas pada mata aku. Setidaknya itu yang berlegar dalam kotak fikir ini. Kadang kala apabila terlalu sarat dengan maksud tersembunyi, falsafah itu akan menyendiri. Tidak terkesan kerna malu mungkinya. Perempuan ini terlalu tawar, tidak terasa dek tunas fikiran. Ia pedas dengan provokasi, berempahkan syiah yang rasanya menghilangkan manis falsafah segar seperti manikan kalbu. Tidak selemak ketupat cinta dahulu. Ya, manikin kalbu hanya sebuah cerita ringkas, namun penuh dengan kemanisan falsafah. Ketupat cinta pula satira yang penuh dengan lemak bahasa dan tercelup pula dengan sedikit kuah sejarah. Satu sajian yang cukup berselera untuk santapan minda. Bahkan kerana manisnya epal pun bagi aku teramat segar  berbanding perempuan ini...sebenarnya, aku seperti tidak larat,tak mampu untuk menghabiskan perempuan nan bercinta.

exotic birds again

 i wish i took pictures, but left behind my phone and my hands got dirty with the blood and feathers. so, again its season. Sat with my dad, plucking birds feathers, damn, those birds looked so tempting. But its only ayam2, my crave for sita still hunting me.haha…that little birds with red eyes and orange-red feathers.

let her go

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh, oh no)
Will you let her go?

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go